But God is still on the throne! Praise be to Him that this isn't my eternal home! Lord, reveal Yourself to my children soon.

What a sad day it is for my children. Our representative no longer listens to the people and sentenced us to socialism...and probably economic destruction.

Too bad it's supposed to be 20 degrees cooler tomorrow.

Why does it seem that we make our own worst days? Kids scream, make me angry and I yell. They cry and scream more...can't win.

I have not been able to write on here! I was sick monday too. I'm restless today.

I'm sick today. Sore throat and I lost my voice. My sweet honey let me sleep in and I did.....until 10:30!

Ashton has been pretty attentive to going to the potty....#1 I should say. Why won't he just do #2 as well? Why is it so impossible?

Rainy Day

I don't like the rain. I don't like cold, unless there is snow involved. The pretty look of it all makes up for the chill in the air. I miss yesterday. It was the most wonderful day. I'm so glad the Lord invented springtime. It is refreshing after so many months of dreary wetness the south calls winter. Yuck.

Today is another busy day, so I don't have a whole lot of time to type. I did want to tell about this one thing that happened today. I was getting ready for work. I had a pair of flip flops that were sitting out. Ashton put them on and said, "Look, I'm mommy!" He said he was the mommy now. I said ok. It didn't last long because he took off the shoes and said, "I'm taking of the mommy now."

That made me think a little. Sometimes I would like to "take off the mommy." Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my kids and I LOVE being a mommy, but I would like some time to be Mary again. I would like to be that person that I remember who loves to mosey around the mall, looking at everything but looking for nothing. The girl who sat in her apartment and primped for what seemed like hours, painting her nails, trying on different colors of lipstick, just to see what it looked like. The girl who just played her flute for the sheer enjoyment of getting it out and playing music.

Sometimes I really miss that girl. I'm glad our anniversary is this week...Eric and I will get some much needed us time, and for a little while I can be that girl again.

Today is not at all a pretty day, but the Lord made it and I will rejoice and be glad in it!

A New Monday

I'm very thankful for weekends. It gives me that much-needed time to get chores done that I want to get done and yet still have time to play with my kids and even spend some time with my husband.

I also appreciate being able to attend the church that I do. Yesterday, our pastor talked about reasons that we go to church and how important it is to be a part of that body of believers. I wholeheartedly agree with that and I do wish that I spent more time with people at church. There are a lot of couples in our Sunday School class that I really enjoy and would like to get to know better.

He also talked for a good bit about being real. This is one part that I don't think I have too much trouble with. I'm a person who wears her heart on her sleeve. If I'm not having a good day, everyone knows. I'm pretty transparent. I also like to share my burdens with others because talking about things helps me to feel better or at least lightens the load.

But that being said, how many times have I asked people how they are and really meant it? When was it just a greeting so I could get by rather than a real inquiry into that person's life? Probably more times than not, and I should be ashamed. My Lord was a person of relationships when He was here on this earth. Yeah, I know this isn't exactly about mothering, but in a way it is. Aren't we as mothers supposed to be nurturing and caring in our relationships?

I do care about people's hurts. I don't know if anyone has read any of these posts yet, but if there is a tiny audience. I do care about you, for real. Write me, post a comment or something. I will write you back, when I can. I am a busy mom, of course!

On another topic, my poor Kaley still has or redeveloped a snotty nose. Ashton had a pretty deep cough this morning and Eric has been stuffed. I'm really hoping that this is winter's last gasp with sickness on us. I'm tired of it. We have had some sort of crud since, oh... September or October...maybe even August. Tired of it.

Today is a beautiful day and I'm planning on taking the kids this a.m. to the park to play with some friends. Now I just need to get myself ready for work. sigh...

Saturday morning...oatmeal again. Folding laundry is in my future. Blah.

Dug out all the Handy Manny tools from Ashton's toybox. I realize my kids have too many toys.

Oatmeal for breakfast. Listening to Focus on the Family. They are having some great insights into how men think differently from women.

Goal setting

Well, sitting here isn't accomplishing anything really today except that I had set it in my mind that I was going to write a little bit. I've been setting some goals for myself lately.

1. Get Ashton potty trained before my birthday....I have 66 days, I think.

2. Start Kaley potty training. Kaley may be more ready than I think. She's been leaving the living room to go into her room by herself to poop in her diaper.

3. Sell $1700 of Tastefully Simple food by the end of April. (explanation: I sell this food called Tastefully Simple in parties much like Mary Kay sells makeup. It's really easy to make and really tasty. I have this goal setter thing for me now, and I want to reach the highest it can go.)

4. Either lose some weight or get pregnant :) I wish this one were more easily accomplished either way.

5. Move back up north before the end of the year. I really enjoy my friends and church here in Tupelo, but I miss my family and I'm tired of missing everything or having to make a big production just to go see my parents. I want my kids to be close to their grandparents, and not just think they see them around the holidays or birthdays. This goal really is more of just a dream than an achievable thing. It takes opportunity and God working out the details.

So yesterday not all that much went on. I went to work early and brought the kids to church to be watched while I worked. This is one of the reasons I don't want to work outside the home anymore. It's not the biggest hassle in the world, but I sure feel sad to leave them, even when I know they are fine. It's not like leaving them with a babysitter so Eric and I can go out on a date...that's different. This is, to me, almost like I have to leave them somewhere because I have a priority that is higher than them and I can't stay and watch them. I know God gave me these children so that I would raise them in the admonition of Him. It's hard to miss parts of their day.

Today is a normal day, however. I will go to work in the afternoon like usual. What to have for dinner? That is a daily dilemma.

Another busy morning. Pop tarts for breakfast!

Chore Day

So, I had had every intention of getting up when my husband does...or at least soon after. He gets up at 4 a.m. because he has to be at work at 4:30. I don't envy those hours, but I must say that the things I would be able to accomplish with that time would be incredible.

I have done that a few days, but never a full week of weekdays. Instead, today, I slept and my kids woke me up. Then I got them breakfast and started getting down to business. As of right now, I have dishes washing in the dishwasher, clothes in the washer and the dryer, and cookies cooling on the counter. I still have a huge pile of clean clothes to iron, but I thought I would blog instead.

I also got out the pop-up tent for the kids to play with because they really, really wanted it (at least Ashton asked for it). Right now, the kids are being babysat by SpongeBob SquarePants. He's not a totally reliable babysitter because as soon as I typed that sentence, both kids came whining for one of those fresh cookies. I admit, I'd like one too, but I said, "No cookies until after lunch!"

I'm a mean mom.

Eric wants to finally finish up the improvements to our house that we had been planning. I guess we are going to paint Kaley's room and take down the wallpaper border in our hall bath and paint that as well. It's been a long process, but it has also been a while since we've done anything. We got a lot accomplished last summer. We painted nearly every room in the house and took down what seemed like miles of that wallpaper border. I love the way it looks now.

Ashton did something funny today. He was sitting eating his breakfast when he just started telling me that he was going to ask Daddy if we could go to Chucks m cheese (Chuck E. Cheese). He told me that he was going to tell Daddy please. Please is the magic word, you know! I thought it was cute and I tried to get him to say it again for my cell phone camera so I could send it to Eric. It wasn't the same.

I don't know, but we may go to Chucks m cheese tonight. I guess we'll see.

Kaley has been "reading" this Happy Baby Colors book. We've been trying to teach her the colors, but she's more interested in the pictures themselves and telling us what they are. She walks around reciting what objects are on what pages. "Gween, fwog, pear." "Puwpul, fwower, jamas (pajamas)." "Wed, shooz, appuw (apple, but it's actually a tomato in the book)." The lists go on.

Our anniversary is in 9 days. I'm not sure what I'm going to do for Eric yet, but we've been married for almost 4 years now. It's hard to believe, but I do love him more now than the day we got married.

Am I a bad mom because I just now remembered to change Kaley's overnight diaper? It's so easy to forget after breakfast, laundry and setting up the tent!

Is it wrong to serve peanut butter sandwiches for breakfast?

This is my first mobile post. It is a test.

First Post

This is my first post. I saw my friend, Candise Brown's blog on here and thought it looked therapuetic. I write already for my job, why not try here?

As of right now, I am the proud mother of two. Ashton, 3, is a joy and a pain. He loves Thomas the Tank Engine, Cars and to pester his sister, Kaley. Kaley, 2, is our strong-willed child. She is tough and stubborn, but she still wants to climb into my arms and be my baby. I never could have imagined that my kids would be so close in age, but God opens the womb when it is His choice. I hope that it won't be too long before #3 is on its way.

We are working on potty training Ashton and it is not progressing. We've been working on this since last May....it hurts just to write that on here. I've cried unbelievable buckets of tears of frustration, anger and all sorts of emotions regarding the toilet and Ashton's refusal (for who knows what reason!) to go #2 in the potty. I'm about to just ignore him now and move on to his sister. I just need to focus.

My husband, Eric, is the co-host of American Family Radio's morning show. He's on there with JJ Jasper and I think he seems to have a good time there. He's a fine man, and sometimes I wish I had the strength he has when it comes to just getting things accomplished around the house.

Eric sometimes asks me if having 2 kids is already enough, but no matter the chaos that happens, there's a burden in my heart, a longing, for that 3rd and maybe 4th child. I don't know if I will be able to actually have a 4th child. That's all up to my body and probably the recommendation of my doctor.

I am a part-time writer for the AFA Journal. I work with a great group of people. I'm 30, to be 31 in May. I want to act, sing and play my flute professionally some day. Right now, I want to be a stay-at-home mom. I feel manic and calm often in the same moments. I have to or else nothing would ever get done. Sometimes I think in news feeds like you see on Facebook. I update my status in my mind.

"Ashton went potty! Hooray!"

"Kaley said 'I love you, Mommy!'"

More than anything, I want to be closer to my God and my Savior, Jesus. I'm not the Christian I should be, and many days I find myself feeling guilty for what I would call falling behind. However, God is infinitely merciful and He'll never remove me from His hand. I am His, forever.

God, help me write this...I don't know why I undertook this. Maybe You have a purpose with my clumsy and often flippant thoughts.